Perfect Phrases for Professional Networking: Hundreds of Ready-to-Use Phrases for Meeting and Keeping Helpful Contacts – Everywhere You Go (Perfect Phrases Series) 1st Edition

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Put these words to work for you!
Learn the gift of gab and get closer to your dream job

This latest addition to the bestselling Perfect Phrases series is a must-read for anyone who dreads networking or who has ever fumbled or frozen during important and possibly career-changing conversations. Perfect Phrases for Professional Networking arms readers with foolproof and versatile phrases that help them take advantage of virtually any professional networking opportunity.

KNOW WHAT TO SAY IN ANY SITUATION

From cocktail parties to industry conferences, association meetings, and even unexpected run-ins on the street, this book has all the tools you need to feel comfortable striking up a conversation, steering it in the right direction, and following up effectively. Whether you're looking for a promotion, considering a career change, or just hoping to update that rolodex for a rainy day, this handy resource has you covered--including new-media tactics such as e-mail etiquette, rules for social networking, and the proper way to leave a blog comment.

Author Susan Benjamin shows you how to:

  • Break the ice
  • Use personal connections to create a conversation
  • Steer the conversation toward leads
  • Ask for an invitation to an exclusive gathering
  • Get through to someone who's putting you off
  • Get new leads from an old contact
  • Perfect your elevator pitch
  • Send a cold e-mail that gets a response
  • Make the most of online networking functions

    No matter how tough networking is for you, the Perfect Phrases format makes it simple for you to start building connections today.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Susan F. Benjamin is a marketing expert, author, and host of the talk radio show The Greater Voice, which reaches thousands of listeners throughout the world each week. Articles by and about Susan have appeared in publications including The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and countless newspapers affiliated with the McClatchy-Tribune news service. She has discussed her ideas on CNN, National Public Radio, Small Business Television, and other broadcasts. A former professor, Susan has consulted on marketing campaigns for the Liberty Mutual Insurance Group, Accenture, ATT, Fleet Boston, Fleishman-Hillard International Communications and countless other businesses. Susan participated in a White House initiative on plain language under the Clinton/Gore administration. She has trained over 100,000 employees on various communications matters and regularly gives keynote and other addresses. Her clients have included the Carnegie Mellon Executive Program, the National Geospacial-Intelligence Agency, and the Federal Communications Commission.

About the Author

Susan F. Benjamin is a marketing expert, author, and host of the talk radio show The Greater Voice, which reaches thousands of listeners throughout the world each week. Articles by and about Susan have appeared in publications including The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and countless newspapers affiliated with the McClatchy-Tribune news service. She has discussed her ideas on CNN, National Public Radio, Small Business Television, and other broadcasts. A former professor, Susan has consulted on marketing campaigns for the Liberty Mutual Insurance Group, Accenture, ATT, Fleet Boston, Fleishman-Hillard International Communications and countless other businesses. Susan participated in a White House initiative on plain language under the Clinton/Gore administration. She has trained over 100,000 employees on various communications matters and regularly gives keynote and other addresses. Her clients have included the Carnegie Mellon Executive Program, the National Geospacial-Intelligence Agency, and the Federal Communications Commission.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

PERFECT PHRASES for PROFESSIONAL NETWORKING

Hundreds of Ready-to-Use Phrases for Meeting and Keeping Helpful Contacts—Everywhere You GoBy Susan Benjamin

The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Copyright © 2010 Susan Benjamin
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-07-162916-4

Contents


Chapter One

The Basics

 

Networking can be a rather nerve-racking experience. And with good reason, too. Normally when you meet people, you're more or less equals. You go to a cocktail party and that guy or gal is nursing a drink, right? And so are you. Maybe you chat. Get into a discussion. And why not, you're guests. What else should you be doing?

But when you're networking, you're not equal; you want something from the other person. You need to charm him or her, make a great impression, and get what you're after. And unless you're going to one of those meetings that is explicitly dedicated to networking, that person may not have a whole lot to get from you. So, you have to seem natural and nonchalant even though, well, you're not!

So, what are you supposed to do? Here's a list—we'll add the perfect phrases later.

 

Networking: The List

• Relax. I know, I know—telling people to relax is the fastest way to make them tense. Just like when the dentist tells you to uncross your legs and relax as he or she points a needle the size of a fishhook into your mouth. But I mean it. The tenser you are, the more stilted your language will become and the less convincing you'll sound.

• Personalize. The networking opportunity is about people—you and whomever you're networking with. So, it's critical that you create a personal relationship. And this means you need to know something about that person. What is her history? Her interests? Why should she care enough about you to pass on information—be it names, organizations, or just insights and ideas? I'm not suggesting you have to research everyone you network with—after all, if you're at a party with a networking group, this is probably impossible. But when it comes time to send that follow-up e-mail or notice, go right ahead and Google.

• Have courage. Even the most experienced salesperson will tell you that networking requires a deep breath or two, especially when the people you're contacting are well positioned. By that I mean, they have the power to make your life much easier, richer, or otherwise better. But don't sweat it. Just keep your mind in the present as much as possible: make that contact and don't worry about what will happen if you blow it. (P.S. Everyone does blow it now and then. And guess what? Where that one all-important networking opportunity died, about ten more crop up.)

• See value. In most networking situations, contacts may seem like helpers—people who pass on gobs of information as you take, take, take. What's in it for them? Or, more to the point, how dare you be so selfish, demanding, and ... OK, wait. You're not. Really. So blast that thought out of your head. In fact, you're bringing value to these people on two fronts.

• You're giving them the satisfaction of helping you and possibly the person they're introducing you to. I know this sounds only so-so valuable, but actually playing a positive force can be quite the motivating factor in any relationship. Obviously, you need to thank them afterward—and later, too—but that's for another chapter.

• Whatever you bring them in return. One of the core elements of our social agreements, albeit unspoken, is the concept of reciprocity or, in more common terms, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. So, you need to offer them something in return. And not, "If I can help you out, just let me know ..." Something concrete and of real value to them.

• Remember the stakes. When networking, the stakes are high for you—and your contacts. For example, if your contacts pass on the name of another contact, they're putting their reputation on the line, too. If you make a positive impression, you're sending a positive message about them. If you're a jerk (not that you would ever be, of course!), that reflects negatively on them as well. So it's critical that in all your networking interactions, you project the most positive, professional, and trust-inspiring impression possible. Dress nicely, on all occasions—or, more to the point, dress appropriately for all occasions. Going to a football game with boundless networking opportunities? Don't wear a suit and tie, of course; that would be weird. But do wear good jeans and a clean, well-fitted parka. If you're sending an e-mail, make sure your grammar is impeccable and don't take too many liberties—at least, not yet. Smiley faces, such as :), are out. Letters only, as in R U OK?—also out. Full sentences, definitely in.

• Put away the "want." OK, when most people network, it's because they want something. A job. Money. A girlfriend, boyfriend, or business connection. Sometimes you're needy, and sometimes you're really needy, and sometimes, well, panicky comes to mind. Regardless of how you're feeling, put that emotion away. People can smell desperation: it's strong, present, and unappealing. And networking begins with an interaction as simple as a handshake. So, what do you do? Put the fear away and spring into action. Meet, greet, and hope for the best. And whatever happens, happens.

 

One more very important point: the most crucial part of networking, beyond all else, is your immediate impression. That's true whether you're e- mailing, calling on the phone, shaking hands, or even just meeting someone's eyes from across the room. That first impression occurs in a flash. If you're writing or calling, it could make or break the entire interaction. If you're meeting in person, with the benefits of body language and other signals, you may, just may, be able to turn a negative impression around.

So, read on and use these upcoming perfect phrases to make your first hello a lasting—or at least a recurring—one!

 

A Quick Look at Networking Dos and Don'ts

People have been networking since the beginning of time. Moses leading his people through the Red Sea? Networking. Sholomo knew Aaron, brother of Moses. They talked a little, networked, and Sholomo shook Moses' hand. Before you knew it, they were on their way to the Holy Land.

But through the ages of networking, some pretty bad habits have surfaced. Take those networking phrases that fall into phone calls, e-mails, conversation as easily as olives from a tree. They're so available. So natural. So time-tested. Except that they sound insincere, disingenuous, and generally boring. Here are some of those tiresome phrases:

Per Mary Dawson's recommendation, I am contacting you ...

Please note the enclosed letters of recommendation ...

Thanks for your time yesterday.

I am sending you this e-mail on the recommendation of ...

I will tailor my efforts ...

I can meet the needs ...

 

Instead, try to use the most casual and specific language possible (while still being very polite, of course). The more specific you are about what you have to offer, the more likely your contact will network on your behalf and provide the leads and ideas that will be helpful to you:

Our mutual friend Mary Dawson suggested that I contact you.

I am sending along a few letters of recommendation.

Thanks for the information you gave me yesterday. I plan to contact everyone on the list immediately.

I regularly handled at least thirty clients a day and was able to address their concerns in an agreed-upon time frame.

 

Don't focus on yourself: no one cares about your personal life. OK, your mother and maybe your kids and your partner or spouse might care, but when it comes to networking, people care about themselves or some issue, idea, or opportunity that intrigues them—so you want to show them how you fit into that. Avoid self-focusing first phrases like these:

I want to talk to you because ...

Mary said I should connect with you because I want ...

I'm looking for a job and wanted to get ...

I've been really upset lately because of the economy and thought you could give me ... [This approach should be used only with your therapist!]

 

Instead, focus on them: compliment, intrigue, make them feel generally good. Notice the difference:

I know that you are an expert in our field, and I was hoping you would discuss ...

Mary said you're among the most respected people in the field and might be willing to give me advice ...

Since you're an expert in this industry, I was hoping you could point me in the right direction ...

You're probably the best source for ways to navigate the difficult economy, and I thought you could advise me ...

 

Granted, you do run the risk of seeming insincere. The best way around that, though, is to truly mean what you say. If the guy really is a renowned expert, say it. If not, figure out what he really is. Well respected? Well informed? Knowledgeable? Then use those types of adjectives.

Don't expect your contact will remember you:

Hi, this is me [or whatever your name is]. Just calling to let you know my progress since we talked.

I just wanted to follow up and tell you that I got the job at the university.

I wanted to shoot you a quick note to let you know I joined the networking association.

I spoke to Rose and she sends her regards. She gave me lots of useful information, and I appreciate your help in connecting me.

 

Who are you? When did you meet or speak? If you only met once, spoke on the phone, traded e-mails, or whatever, chances are this person forgot you. Don't take it personally. She's busy. She doesn't remember her own kids, on a bad day. So, you need to remind her. But be discreet. She may be forgetful, but that doesn't mean she realizes she's forgetful!

Do remind your contact of who you are:

Thanks for referring me to Janet Johnson at the networking meeting in Chicago last month. I spoke with her a few days ago and she sends her regards.

Just wanted you to know that I joined the networking organization, as you suggested in our phone conversation last month. As I mentioned, I was laid off by the MARC Corporation but am now optimistic about finding a job.

When we spoke three weeks ago, I was looking for a job. Thanks to your recommendation that I contact Alfred, I found one!

I hope you've been well since we met at the convention last fall. At that time, I was looking for customers for my new Perfect Tool. Thanks to your suggestions, I now have ...

 

Don't demand—even politely. It's bad enough when someone you love makes demands. But it's a total turnoff when someone you don't know makes demands and wants a favor, such as a networking connection.

Don't be abrupt:

I think you can give me the names I need ...

I want lists of ...

I need some names from you.

Give me some information.

I would like you to get me a contact list for ...

Because you are so well positioned, I want you to ...

I think you should ...

Please get me the names as soon as possible.

I am in a hurry, so you need to respond quickly.

I want thirty minutes of your time.

 

Do be appreciative and flexible:

Would you be willing to send me those names?

Is it OK if you send more of those names?

If you could get me the contact list, I would be most appreciative.

Because you are so well positioned, I thought you could provide some helpful information. Would that be possible?

Whenever you can get me those names would be great. I'm working as hard as I can and am ready.

Could I have thirty minutes of your time?

 

People love to help other people, so be sure to use these and similar words:

Give advice

Point me to

Provide me with

Advise me

Help me

 

Don't forget to thank them, and do it outright:

I appreciate your insights.

Thanks for the ideas you presented in our discussion.

Thank you for passing along that list of contacts.

I appreciate your meeting with me on Friday.

 

Then let your contact know what aspect of the discussion was especially helpful. Be as specific as you can:

I never knew about those associations, although I've been in the industry for about twenty years.

I've read a great deal on the subject, but you're the first to offer those insights.

Those names will prove invaluable.

I really needed a shot in the arm: your enthusiasm was great!

 

Whenever possible, show your contact how you followed up:

I've reviewed the associations' websites, as you recommended, and found two of them that would be immensely helpful to me!

I'm building your ideas into my sales plan.

My assistant and I will begin contacting them immediately.

I'm planning to start calling first thing in the morning.

 

Address the Person, Not the Opportunity

When communicating, especially in writing, you may have the urge to sound formal, overly professional, or really, really smart. Don't bother. In the networking universe, your greatest advantage is to strike up a strong relationship with the person you're addressing. This means, of course, that you shouldn't try to be anything, except yourself.

But, as we all know, communications aren't as simple as that. Because who you are is a multifaceted thing. Think about who you are in front of your boss. Then, in front of your lover. Now, in front of your parents. Different, right? So, you need to address whomever you're networking with as naturally and personally as possible, depending on your relationship with them.

Be natural by using words that are appropriately formal or informal:

To a peer:

How are you doing?

It would be really cool if we could share some ideas about the company.

Do you know any good contacts? Maybe we can exchange some names.

Have any insights into the executive team? I was hoping to get invited to one of their forums.

 

To an expert in the field:

How are you?

I would appreciate any insights into the company.

I'd be happy to pass along anything that might be helpful to you, as well.

 

Of course, you don't want to use language that isn't really "you," so stick with your own style, tailored to your audience.

Discuss or draw personal connections:

I noticed that you lived in Boston—so did I, in 1992.

In the picture on your website, you're sitting beside a German shepherd. I have one, too. They're great dogs, aren't they?

Did you ever read Tom Peters? What do you think of his business ideas?

You went to Princeton? So did I. But only for a summer!

 

Avoid the passive voice. If you don't remember what the passive voice is, look it up in a good grammar book or look at your e-mails to friends. With the passive voice, you omit the noun or pronoun that refers to the person who is doing the action, as if the event or discussion occurred on its own. This is common in business or otherwise formal communications. Unfortunately, you may unconsciously resort to the passive voice in networking communications as well. Do not use the impersonal and corporate-sounding passive voice:

A list of excellent restaurants is enclosed, as a thank-you for all your great insights last week.

After our discussion, Jane and Henry were called, per your recommendation.

Pursuant to our last conversation: the main office was moved last week. Thought you'd like to know.

The application was received last week!

 

In relaxed, friendly conversation, you would naturally use the active voice, which clearly indicates who did what:

I'm sending you a list of excellent restaurants as a thank-you for all your great insights last week.

After our discussion, I called Jane and Henry as you recommended.

Just wanted to follow up on our last conversation: the president decided to move the main office. Thought you'd like to know.

I received the application last week!

 

Use questions and other engaging language when it seems natural and doesn't demand much from your audience:

I'm originally from Oregon. Have you ever been there?

Did you happen to read the Kentucky report?

Today's speaker worked at Smith and Sons for eight years. Do you know them?

Our product is a combination of mustard and gel sauce. Have you tried it?

The scene at the convention reminded me of the movie Shark. Did you see it?

 

Then, get back to the original point, unless the other person wants to pursue the personal talk further. Remember: it's these personal interactions that make contacts more likely to open up to you and follow up should new ideas occur to them.

 

Give Them a Chance to Respond Honestly

You know what you want your contacts to give you: names, ideas, and leads. But remember, just by asking you can make them feel either valued or pressured. You can make them feel open and willing to say yes or embarrassed by having to say no. Your job is to allow contacts to respond honestly, or not at all.

These perfect phrases give your contacts wiggle room they'll appreciate:

Do: Would you happen to know anyone at the company I can contact?

Don't: Who should I contact at the company?

Do: Can you recommend anyone who might enjoy our product?

Don't: Who should I contact about our product?

Do: I'd like to meet the folks in your group. Would that be possible?

Don't: I'd like to meet the folks in your group. When should I come in?

(Continues...)

 


Excerpted fromPERFECT PHRASES for PROFESSIONAL NETWORKINGbySusan BenjaminCopyright © 2010 by Susan Benjamin. Excerpted by permission of The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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